Friday, April 27, 2012

A letter to Caissa, my demanding mistress.

Dear Caissa,

Yes, I’ve gotten your emails, texts, voicemails and even your FB friend invite. Linked-in too? Really? I know, I’ve been distant the past few months but I just needed some “space”. Our relationship was just getting out of hand. I had other demands and other areas of myself I needed to explore.

I don’t know how to tell you this, but your intuition is probably correct. I have been tangled with another mistress called Kali ( goddess of math). She’s logical like you, not as spirited as you. It started out casual. I thought I was going to be able to manage both of you but then she just dominated me and locked me in her dungeon insisting I sing of her praises to a bunch of kids who didn’t know what was coming. Oddly enough, or perhaps a case of Stockholm Syndrome, I found her quite principled an

d actually liked our conversations. She respects me and is letting loose of her chains ( as the semester is ending).

So here’s the thing, I’ve come to realize I don’t need you to complete me. I do miss our conversations and your enchanting ways you dance on 64 squares. But I refuse to fall for your teasing and humiliation when I fall short. I can do without the demeaning annoying cackle as you throw your head back in satisfaction of destroying another dream.

Don’t get me wrong, we had some good times. I will always remember Philly, the Pillsbury Memorial and that special Tuesday night when I “bagged” the master. I’ve just had to come to terms with a few things. For instance, my rating doesn’t make me. I actually enjoy the struggle and would rather look for the lesson than just the mere increase in rating. Given what I have going on and what I am willing and not willing to give up for you, I am complete. Getting to a better place with you would be great, but it’s not my destination.

I won’t be able to take you out on Tuesday’s for our “date night”. Kali actually pays her own way and helps me now. That’s our night. I regret to tell you that a week in Philly won’t be a reality this year. You want too much caviar and I can’t afford it. Besides, it brings out the worst in both of us. I’m open to a different date night. I hear Wednesday’s in Fitchburg can be inspiring.

If you are up for a more tame plutonic relationship and some good conversations with the occasional 64 dance, maybe at the end of the month we can do a weekend locally. Keeping it low keyed is better for me these days.

I know you must be upset, but please consider my offer. Maybe we can chat over coffee and see out the month of May looks like.

With respect,


1 comment:

Temposchlucker said...

When the ratings plummet people tend to become philosophical about Caissa. But when she rubs us in with dr.Elo's wonder elixir it is hard to stay free from the spell of her charmes.

Kali? Can you introduce me to her?:)