Why don't I just chuck all my freeking chess stuff out the friggin window?( At least my wife would be happier).
Why after thousands of tactical problems do I STILL FRIGGIN Not see tactics ( My opponents especially)?
Why am I trying to learn a new opening system when I haven't even "learned" the old system thoroughly?
I'm a "tard" that's why... a dense knuckle dragging neanderthal grunting my way through the 64 squares only to make the same mistakes over and over and over.
Sure! I *could* get a coach... but with three kids in college and More in the queue I'd rather throw my money away at the entrance fee to weekend tournaments.
So, the past couple of events I went too hasn't been too spectacular. I played at the Sudbury River Fall Classic back in October. I had one good game that was "broadcast" via a Mon Roi ( over prived PDA) system here :http://www.monroi.com/wdc/flashviewer/watch1.php? ( If you have trouble it was the second game of OCT 21 in the database section.. DUVAL). From there my games went down hill.
Yeah, I've been using my "new" e4 stuff but to tell you the truth, I have a hard time wrapping my head around it. There is so much to learn and so little brain in this "Tard". I've been playing the white side of a lot of Caro-Kanns which would be good since I play as black... EXCEPT because I am studying for all the OTHER crap that Black can throw ... those memory banks are further supressed or squeaked out. You know, mind like a seave! That's me. I used to know that stuff but ...NOT ANY MORE... since I have to look at Sicilians, Frenches, Alekhines, PIrcs, the Friggin Modern... and the list goes on. BAH!
So today's howler adds insult to injury. First off, I went to a One day in NH. I played in the Championship ( U2100) section of the Amateur. I lost ALL OF MY GAMES. My first two games I had Black. Both times I play the Caro-Kann ( because I can) and BOTH times I was faced with the Exchange Panov. This used to be an easy opening for me until my wiring went nuts. After move 12 I reached this position after ( 1. e4 c6 2. d4 d5 3. exd5 cxd54. c4 Nf6 5. Nc3 e6 6. cxd5 Nxd5 7. Nf3 Bb4 8. Qc2 Qa5 9. Bd2 Nc6 10. Bd3 Bd711. O-O Rc8 12. a3) .
Blunderprone struck again and played 12...Be6 instead of Be7 which he justfied in his head by saying "Be7... is a panzi move ...too passive... Nor do I want to give up the bishop pair and exchange for a knight." I Just didn't see the crushing 13. Nb5. Grrr.
The rest of my day went in down the toilet with most of my rating. The second game I was BLACK AGAIN... and played into a Panov poorly. Round 3 I was met with the generous MR. BYE and got a full point ( but no ratings). SO I got to play an unrated player. I hesitated and played 1.e4... what could go wrong.... well. I dropped a pawn and the bugger exchanged down to the endgame. Foretunately, I had some Neanderthal wits about me and managed to win a K+Ps end game with a pawn done by the fundamental concept of Opposition. Yeah... my highlight... big frigging woop.
My last round I was paired with yet another 1700+ player as white. I made a last minute decision to use Ye Olde D4 ( go ahead throw the rotten tomatoes after my ranting about moving to e4). I have to tell you, for most of the game I had the upper edge... I felt like I knew the position despite NOT LOOKING AT THE BOOK FOR THREE MONTHS... I had the pressure on the king side going up until the last 5 moves when I exchanged my strong e5 outposted Knight. The game unraveled and I lost the point.
So what does this all mean? I haven't a clue. Maybe I should give up chess altogether... Ok ... that thought passed. But seriously. Why do I go through all this struggle only to flippin blunder STILL? It sure would be a lot more fun if I can pull together a few more wins. I know I have it in me... but lately I can't seem to get my friggin act together.