Well, THAT completely sucked!
After a hiatus in chess due to life events last over 6
months, my plan was to take some rust off at the club in May, play in the Mass
Open and then really bring a good game to the Rhodes Island state
championship. The activity at the club
definitely showed the rust that gave way
to training opportunities. Not feeling the least bit curtailed, I went into the
Memorial day weekend Mass Open in good spirits and a sense of “ I’m going to
have some fun in spite of myself”.
At the Mass Open, I had a draw I probably could have one but
was too tired to fight it out, then I lost a game on a tactical fault and
another game lost after having the upper hand. I let up on the pressure just
enough to allow my opponent to fight back.
I made the best of it that weekend by
having a make shift tailgate party with a portable grill, burgers and
dogs and fed a couple weary souls between rounds.
I then spent the time looking over the games and making copious
notes on what my thinking process was like to garner some insights where I fell off my horse. In most of my games, I come out of the opening
strong with some advantage in either space, development or more active pieces. I
don’t need help in the OPENINGS… I need help in my CLOSINGS!. In the games at
the MASS open, I had serious troubling finding the right move that would
convert the temporary advantage into a permanent one and eventually a
point. So, I left the Mass Open with a
plan to improve that part of my game through more training in tactics, strategy
and playing against the computer with a temporary advantage.
“There’s always the next event.”
Because life is never that simple, my intentions to spar
with the computer to improve that aspect were minimized. I did do my regimen of tactical and strategic
puzzles but not nearly enough as I had hoped in preparing for the RI state competition. The time control was
G/75 and required a little different mental prep.
First round, I ran into the same old dilemma from the Mass
Opening, not effectively turning a strong position into a permanent win against
a Hippopotimus, of all things….in a swamp. Instead, I sacrificed a pawn for a
more active rook on the seventh rank and well connected pieces. But the break
through allowed the hippo to munch on my wing pawns and prepare a strong
counter attack. I lost the game.
Before the start of the second round I realized my wallet
was missing! I had to make a quick decision as to what to do. I took a bye for
round two and did a sling shot back to my house and back to the tournament. Fortunately,
the wallet was found, fell out of my pants pocket int eh morning haste to get
out the door. I made it in time for
round three only to have my opponent not show up ( I had a forfeit at the Mass
Open as well). Getting a full point due to a forfeiture is like eating a candy
bar when you are hungry, empty calories and no nutritional value. Found out my
opponent had made a mistake thinking only two rounds a day. Oh well, very frustrating 3 rounds and
nothing to really show for it.
Hoping to start playing some real chess, I played a Slav in the
forth round and fought with myself to
not play a Meran, which I had only recently studied but never really employed
it. Played the 4….dxc4 version and was faced with a 5.e4 instead of the usually 5.a4. I played to keep
the pawn and piss off his knight on c3. I had what I thought was a decent game and
played what I thought were sharp moves getting my queen to a5 bishop to f5 while my opponent had all his pieces on the back
rank. But I couldn’t sustain the attack
and at one point made an error in judgment as the queens went off the board and
castled when I would have been better moving Ke7. The castling required me to
lose tempo in avoid back rank mating threats and my opponent got a dangerous
passed pawn.
I withdrew after that fiasco. I should have listened to the
warning with my missing wallet and withdrawn after round 1… the thought came
across my mind. But I LOVE this game. I
don’t have many opportunities to play these days due to other recent life
complications. I can’t afford the tournaments I used to attend, definitely not
heading to the World Open this year, and I go back to teaching next month
meaning the two jobs will be consuming my time.
I was hoping to resurface in August at the Continental in
Sturbridge but today I am felling rather humiliated from this game. Makes me
question why I keep putting myself through this every time. I lost 51 rating
points in May alone and probably another 30 after this weekend. I wish I could
lose what like I lose rating points. I
know its not about the rating but once in a while, it would be nice to have
things fall in place a little more. Instead, a series of bad performances like
this, makes me really think about hanging up the goddamn pieces. They’ve been a traitorous bunch lately.
7 comments:
There is a saying that in chess the hardest thing is to win won games. If you have been out of chess for a while, it is not surprising that you have fallen behind. (It was not true for me the last time around: provisional 2000 first season, and gradually sank to 1700, but that is another matter.) The most positive attitude here is that a bad initial performance is good, because it sets a baseline for improvement. The main feeling of achievement comes from getting better. The worse you are, the more achievement you have in store. You will never succeed if you take failure too seriously. Its only a game. You win, you lose. Get a crisis of confidence, lose more. Just do your best! That is all anyone can ask!
Hey man, so sorry to hear about your recent tourney. I can only imagine how frustrating that must have been, and I can imagine wanting to put the pieces away, and rethink the whole thing. I know that I get extremely frustrated with Chess as well as other things, and most of the time I just wish that all the pieces would fall into place at least some of the time. Hang in there man, most of the time there is always a silver lining.
Every rating point lost is a rating point that can be regained.
Keep fighting! We know you are capable!
You really practice against computers? Waste of time IMO. Practice online in FICS or chess.com against real players. Computers don't make the same mistakes as human players, don't react the same, etc.
Not a criticism - I've read your blog for years, and enjoy your insights and reports on your travails.
I would like to see your those games, even if they have a negative attachment for you! :-)
I agree with your assessment of your openings and your finishes. Unfortunately, I know what rating points are all about and that you also missed the wallet analogy. Rating points at G/90, G/75, etc, are all about who will "pants", i.e., shakedown their opponent at the end of the game, take their lunch-money, well you get what I'm saying.
A person can play a higher artistic calibre game, and then be frisked on the clock for the goods, aka the ratings points, at the end of the game. Rating points = frisking ability! Don't equate your chess strength with your rating points, it only means you were a little softer maybe on your opponents, not that your chess isn't better.
Don't sweat it too much. You know how to play seriously; we all know how easy it is to lose our focus on occasion. Once you've been in the zone, you can get there again.
http://blunderprone.blogspot.com.br/2011/01/how-i-won-my-section-at-porstmouth-open.html
Rust is real. It sucks. But the nice thing is that climbing the mountain a second time is easier than climbing it the first time. The only question is whether you give a crap about climbing the mountain any more. I stopped giving a crap after the World Open, when I realized just how insanely much more work I'd have to put in for a few hundred more rating points in this game where we push little nuggets around on a board. I made my choice. But I think chess is more healthy, and important, for you Blunderprone. For me it was an unhealthy escape from responsibilities, for you it seems a more healthy social hobby, so I would be very sad if you left it.
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